As I rode my little red mare the other day, I had yet another “aha” moment.  She challenges me and gets my insides all tangled up sometimes.  But then when we come out of it together I feel like I accomplished something valuable!  She pushes me to places I can’t go by myself.

One thing about her is that I can’t control everything and I have to suck it up.  Some days she’s fresh and a little unpredictable.  It doesn’t take long for her to sense through my body and energy that I’m not comfortable with the way she feels.  My natural response is to hold her back, which creates tension in both of us.  More leadership is what she needs, but I don’t always feel strong enough to give it to her.  Now what?!  Here’s where sucking it up comes in.  My choices are these:

1) Give her leadership.

2) Get off and put her away.

I have done both of these, and I’d like to share where each of them took me emotionally.  When I put her away I am completely defeated.  I’m guessing you know what that feels like so I won’t go any further with that option.  When I give her leadership she responds.  It takes extra focus and effort but we always work through it.  My confidence builds as we get on the right path.

You see, when I try to contain her energy, I’m holding mine in as well.  She is more aware of her feelings than I am of mine.  She knows what she wants and an energy release is what she craves.  Once she’s warmed up and ready to work I can allow her to run and feel free.  After a good sweaty workout her mindset is content.  She gets anxious just like I do.  On this particular day I was thinking through her behavior after I had put her away.  She was soft and kind after our session, and when I reflected on myself I realized that my energy reflected hers.  I was overwhelmed with tension and anxiety when I saddled her, but was relaxed and fulfilled when I turned her out.

Sometimes we need to put the reins down, relax, trust, and run FREE!  I challenge you to try it this week and reflect on it.  I’d love to hear back on how it worked for you.

-Kendra